365 Days in Sweden

“Wow, I can’t believe she would wear that.” 

“Didn’t she use to be skinner?” 

“She looks really weird when she sings.”

Sitting on the couch with my parents (watching American Idol), I’m embarrassed to say that all of the above comments were made by me. And the WORST part is that I actually said all of those things while in the midst of feeling torn down myself by people making terrible comments about me on the Mojang video I posted tonight. 

Holy hypocritical jerk. That’s what I currently am. All night I’ve been looking at comments thinking, that person doesn’t know anything about me, they might like me if they actually knew me. They are judging me with basically no factual information. 

Here I sit, in my spandex shorts (that are too tight by the way), realizing that tonight I kind of suck. We live in a culture of criticism and it’s so completely infiltrated my thoughts that I’m saying judgmental things about people I don’t know at all and on top of that it was women I was criticizing based mostly on their looks (which is one of the most hurtful kinds). 

So this is my public apology…

I’m sorry for being overcritical of everyone else, but asking and expecting that people aren’t overly critical of me. For tearing down people based on looks. Actually, for being so shallow for caring that much about the way someone dresses, looks when they sing, or anything else. Life is too short to judge everyone around me. From this point on, I am going to make a conscious effort to be less judgmental, positive, and focus on things that actually matter.

Today I don’t have fancy pictures to show you, I only have words. Something that’s been on my mind. 

Last night I released a silly music parody on my YouTube channel. I worked on it the entire day Sunday. I kept showing my parents edit after edit. Trying to get it to look the best that I could. When I finally released it I was incredibly nervous. I sang in it. People were going to hear my voice. See something I made. Judge what they thought of it. In the nervousness, I went to the living room to tell my parents that I had finally hit the ‘Public’ button to make the video live. Do you know what they said? Let’s all go watch it. Will we get to be the first ones to see it on your channel?  We sat in the office and watched it… for like the 20th time they watched. Then my dad spent the night reading comments and telling me how people loved it. 

I’m flying to Los Angeles right now. It’s getting late and most everyone is asleep. The plane is dark and I am typing this on my computer… with tears streaming down my face. 

In November 2010, when I said to my parents that I had started making videos about a game called Minecraft, wearing a pink wig, and videoing myself, they 100% backed me. Now, honestly, I don’t know what my reaction would have been if I had a 24 year old daughter who was excitedly making silly videos. They could have told me to stop wasting my time. Or to do something else. But instead they stood in my corner and cheered me on. They not only let me jump outside the ‘box’ but they help propel me out of it with their suggestions and excitement. 

My dad would call me and tell me how many views I had, his predictions for how soon I’d reach the next milestone, and his thoughts on my latest video. I didn’t have to send them to him, he checked my channel all the time to stay up to date. 

We’ll be at dinner and my parents would brag about me being a “Youtube Star” (which is funny considering I have so few followers compared to the real stars of YouTube. They would tell everyone about what I was doing. EVERYONE. Grocery store clerk - check. Waitress - check. Friends - check. Coworkers - check. Everyone. They’s brag about something that in every way is untraditional. 

They encouraged me to go to E3 last year. They jumped up and down alongside me as I said I’d get to meet the Mojang guys and work at the Sony Ericsson booth. My Mom let me shoot nerf darts at her as part of the video resume I sent in. Yes, I have the coolest mom in the world (and I’m not just saying that because I accidentally forgot Sunday is Mother’s Day and will still be in LA).

I’m inspired by my parents. I’m incredibly thankful for their love and support. Last year was incredibly difficult, but they loved me through everything. They stood by me because they are my parents. The best parents.

If I tried every day for the rest of my life, I could never repay you for your belief in me. And these words, do not even begin to truly express how thankful I am for the two of you.

I love you Mom and Dad.

“Your application was denied.”

Thud. Thud. Thud. ThudThudThud. My heart was going wild. 

After 5 full months of waiting, I found out yesterday that my work visa application was denied. Rejected. 

I was devastated. Heartbroken. Even though I know it will get figured out with the appeal, I’d been anxiously anticipating going back and now I’m terribly disappointed. 

I miss Stockholm. I miss all the guys in the office. I miss the new life that I was just getting started. 

So basically I have no idea now when everything will get sorted out. 

End of sob story.

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Dear Sweden,

Please let me come back.

I will be kind. Learn Swedish and will profess my love for your wonderful country to everyone I see.

Thank you, Lydia

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I’ve been a horrible blogger. And now my first post back is a whiny one. So for putting up with both of those things, I will give you some pictures from my travels. 

I was in LA -> San Francisco -> LA -> Boston -> Buffalo ->Washington DC -> St. Petersburg

Here’s a picture of Vu shooting a picture. How meta. This was shot on my Hasselblad in the Sequoia National Forest. 

Here’s a shot of my gorgeous friend Chloe. 

Esther is stunning too. I really love this camera. 

Last week Vu came to visit in Florida for my 25th birthday. 

Holy wow. 25. I can’t even believe it. 24 was a crazy year for me. It was both the best and worst year of my life. I’d like for 25 to just be the best… we can skip anything bad. 

We went to the St. Petersburg Pier with my parents. 

We also went to the Ringling Museum in Sarasota and it was amazing. 

This was one of the best things I saw… What the what. 

Next week, I am off to another location for a few days. Can’t tell you quite yet…. although, I guess it’s safe to say it isn’t Sweden *major sad face*

Question of the Day: How have you been???? 

Today, I accomplished a lifelong mission. Visiting Twitter’s headquarters in San Francisco. Okay, so maybe not a lifelong mission, but it was very exciting. Vu and I went and had lunch with Patrick (developer) and April (Business Dev). They had this amazing cafe with awesome food. It was great being able to visit and chat with them. 

As we were leaving, I got a tweet from Richard who works at Humble Bundle. Humble Bundle is the amazing company who helped us run the Mojam (weekend game jam where we raised $450,000 for four charities). I was INSANELY excited to be able to meet the guys and thank them for all of their help. They completely dropped what they were doing with hardly any advanced notice to help us create the Mojam weekend. They are as wonderful in person as they were online. Like Mojang, I could immediately tell it would be outstanding place to work. 

It actually brings up something I wanted to mention about the Mojam weekend. As some of you might be aware, I was one of the top donators ($1500). The reason I donated that amount was not only because I believe in charity water and the Mojang team, but because when I was having a difficult time with money, the community helped me get a new computer. The Minecraft community is one of the most amazing things. Now that things are going much better for me, I want to remember the times that other people helped me and pay that forward. My parents demonstrated this in their own lives and through their examples I want to do more with what I have now.  

I also shot some images of my good friend Chloe on the film Hasselblad. Eeeeeek… they looked ridiculously gorgeous when I was shooting them. I cannot wait to actually see how they turn out. I want to see them this second, but that’s the fun of shooting film. 

After work, we went to the famous Fisherman’s Wharf. It was dark already, so the seals weren’t out, but we had a nice time walking around and eating amazing food. The two desserts were made at the Bistro Boudin. Boudin is a famous sourdough bread company, so it’s safe to say that their bread pudding and sourdough crust apple pie was insane. And I mean seriously, how awesome are those bread animals! 

Tomorrow we are headed to YouTube and eBay. I have some exciting ideas for the Mojang YouTube account and I think talking with some people at YouTube might give me even more ideas. I also want to shoot a video for my channel tomorrow night. Oh and I almost forgot tomorrow night is the Indie Movie premier in Palo Alto. Most of the guys in the office saw it at GDC, but I cannot wait to see it tomorrow night. It will be interesting to watch considering I work for an indie game company. 

Wow, look at me blogging two nights in a row. I’m inspired to write again and want to create more content. 

Question of the Day: What have you been putting off that you really WANT to do? (My answer would be making youtube videos, I really miss it but always seem to make an excuse for not actually doing it). 

*Every image in this blog post was shot and edited on my iPhone 4*

Yes I’m still alive. Every day my mom asks me where’s my blog post. So Mom, here it is…

Vu and I drove up from Los Angeles to San Francisco. On the way, we went through Sequoia National Park (the small part that was open) and saw the General’s tree. Holy huge. 

I’ve tried to condense my photos, even though there are a TON already. 

It was really foggy on the way up the mountains to get to where the area with the sequoias. The last shot I took through my Hasselblad. I’ve been shooting a bit of film and I cannot wait to get it developed.

On the way to the sequoias, it looked like how I imagine a European countryside. Incredible. 

This picture is completely overdone, but I like that it looks kind of magical. The forest was amazing. 

Fun Fact: General Grant’s tree is the only living memorial. It was very impressive. 

                           

Vu and I had a contest to see who could take the best panoramic at one of the places we stopped. I won!

Arriving in San Francisco was absolutely amazing. It is beautiful here. I attended a seminar at the Institute for the Future. They had someone at the event to draw what was talked about during the seminar. I did a 5 minute talk on how Minecraft is being used in education. I was really excited to see it drawn out. 

Being in San Francisco, I felt the need to buy a Macbook air. It is tiny and wonderful to traveling. 

The golden gate bridge. Stunning. Breath-taking. Driving over it, I felt completely excited. A place I have always wanted to go and suddenly I was there. 

I saw this cool video where someone shot 1 second of every day for a year and made it in to a memory type video. So for about 9 days now, I have been shooting one second each day. It is really fun so far and an easy project to keep up with. Anyone want to try it too? 

I’ve been working from here and this week I get to go some ridiculous places - Twitter, YouTube, Google, Apple, AstroGaming, and eBay. Insane! 

Question of the Day: How have you been???

First of all… I’ve been a bad blogger. I’ve been really busy and jet lagged and have not been keeping up with my writing. But that ends today. 

A little over a month ago, I talked about buying an old Hasselblad film camera. It’s actually from the year I was born (87). I went back and forth before I bought it about whether or not I would really want to shoot film. But finally I decided to just do it, because I was very interested in shooting a little at my sister’s wedding. Then I shot my first roll which I posted and instantly fell in love with everything about the Hasselblad. The way it sounds, the bokeh (blurred background effect), having to wait for film to be processed, the square format. Everything. 

I decided on the wedding day I was only going to shoot one roll of film. I knew Esther was going to capture everything and I really just wanted to shoot something different. 

Today I got the scanned film back from the lab. In my wildest imagination I couldn’t have thought they would turn out the way they did. These are the best photographs I have ever taken, made even more special by the fact that they are of people I absolutely LOVE. 

I thought this first shot wasn’t going to turn out. Boy, was I wrong. Holy wow. 

I decided I really wanted to shoot one of my grandma. I set everything up and then waited till she was actually smiling. My mom cried when she saw it. 

These are two of my amazing friends. I can’t wait to meet there baby this summer!

My mom loves this next shot because it really shows off Mindy’s veil and the beautiful rhinestones on it… you know, the ones my mom were gluing on at midnight the night before the wedding. 

I have titled this next picture - Drop the Tude’ (as in attitude - haha). At this point Min was getting annoyed and wanted to leave, rightly so considering we needed to be somewhere else. Life lesson. This picture looks perfect other than the fact that she looks like she wants to kill me!

Then I grabbed the bouquet and ran over to take this shot. I had already dreamed it up. 

I grabbed this one of my brother and his girlfriend. They are so sweet together. I definitely caught then slow dancing to fast music during the reception. It must be love!

This is one of my favorite pictures of Mindy and I. Shot in the bathroom mirror right before we went to the park for her to get married. Seriously. Mindy could not have looked more beautiful. 

Even though it’s a little out of focus. I love this shot of Mindy and my Dad. Dad looks so handsome and happy and proud. 

And then there is the next shot. I was watching Esther and her second shooter and waiting to grab a picture of Mindy and Al on the dock. The sun was getting ready to set and it was magical outside. I finally got a chance and knew exactly what I wanted this to look like. It came out perfectly. It’s so beautiful it made my cry when I first saw it. 

This is my favorite picture I have ever taken. I love every single thing about it. 

Min - We drive each other crazy a lot of the time, but we both love each other so much. You were the most beautiful bride I have ever seen. Your wedding was truly a perfect event. I love you sisty. 

Al - I couldn’t think of someone kinder or more wonderful to marry my sister. I truly think of you as a brother. If she ever gives you the Tude’ face, we’ll have to show her that picture! 

Okay, so I made up for my lack of posts with this gigantic one. I’ll write more about what I’ve been up to in LA tomorrow. For now, it’s time for bed!

Tonight I am very excited that some of my sister’s wedding pictures are online. My friend Esther is absolutely amazing and she did the most wonderful job. She’s brilliant. I love every image.

Go check out the post and please leave a comment on Esther’s blog! http://estherlouise.com/blog

SXSW has been absolutely wonderful. It’s also been completely exhausting which should be evident by my forgetting to post.

These are four of my favorite images from this week. It was awesome to share this experience with Lan, Vu, and Hope. Last night Lan and I went over to a party hosted by Warner Studios and Nikon. I was super happy with this shot even though the party was a hipster fest.

Tonight Vu and I went to see the premiere of a movie called Bernie starring Jack Black and Matthew McConaughey. The movie was great and both Jack and Matthew were there. We were in the back so it’s a tiny picture, but they are there!

It was inspiring to be in a place with many different creative people. I’d like to start writing and directing short videos. Most likely about Minecraft. Because heaven knows my channel needs some love. I want to start putting my ideas out there by just doing them.

I’m also excited to implement things I learned and saw while I was here into Mojang.

Overall it was completely fabulous. Tomorrow I’m flying to LA to spend a few weeks there before PAX East. I have some really exciting ideas for things at PAX. I’ll tell you more about them as soon as they are confirmed.

Now it is time to crash…. Zzzzzzz.

It’s 1:30 this morning and I was eating French toast sticks and a biscuit from a Today Show food truck with Lan, Vu and our friend Anthony. Yep. True sxsw experience!

I made it to SXSW! This picture is the t-shirt they will be selling for the gaming portion of the show (ScreenBurn Arcade). Our Minecraft shirt is the ONLY shirt that will be sold for gaming. It made me super excited to see it hanging up.

Tomorrow I am going to be signing some things and giving away a few Mojang team signed mouse pads at ScreenBurn tomorrow starting @ 12! If you’re around come see me!

Then I’m excited to attend some classes and meet tons of new people.

But for right now, I am so excited to go to sleep!